Eye of the Storm

The eye of the storm is typically the calmest and safest part of the storm on land with no wind at the center and typically clear skies.  I have been living in the storm for a few years now.  One thing after another after another barreling at me like a wrecking ball upending my life over and over.  I am so tired of it.  I am tired of being strong and hearing, "if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger."  I am strong enough.  I think I have proven that.

However, I don't like living this way. Always on alert. My fight or flight or freeze reptilian brain in control.  It's time for me to enter the center of the storm. Where it is calm, where the skies are clear, where I can let down my sword and be at peace.

This doesn't mean the storm is over; it just means that I am safe and choosing to ride it out in the safest place for me.  I don't need to carry around the angst, anxiety, and fear.  I don't need to worry about the next worst thing.  I can be calm and peaceful despite the chaos.  Let the madness swirl around me.  Let it lie.  

Forget the past, don't worry about the future, live in the present.  Living in the present does not mean I don't think about the future.  It means I don't WORRY about the future.  In order to not worry about the future, it is important to create habits NOW so I can build the future I want. 

I need to think about what I want for my future self.  What do I see for her this week, this month, next month, this summer, this year?  What do I want for her?  How will I get her there?  

I will start by building today.  What habits do I already have that will promote the future I want?  I have been waking up at 6:30 AM before the house but realized that is not enough time to effectively do everything I want to do. Therefore, today, I got up at 6:00.  I came downstairs to a tidy enough house but not enough that I wasn't distracted by the clean dishes in the drying rack.  

Tip one: put the dishes away on the day they are used.

Tip two: fold the throw blankets and put them in their proper place before you go to bed.

Tip three: set the coffee maker on timer so I can smell it when you wake up.

Tip four:  have a plan to make my morning calm.

Wake up fresh to focus on myself and set the tone for the day, positive, grateful, hopeful, peaceful before anyone else enters my space.  Stay in the eye of the storm, let the sword down, breathe.

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