National Daughter's Day

National daughter’s day - I am so grateful every day of my life for the beautiful little human I am fortunate to parent.  As a 100% single mother, every day is not full of joy but every day there are moments of joy.  She is the person I laugh with most in the world. The person I laugh the hardest with.  The person I dance the most with. The person I sing the most with.  The person I am grateful for all day every day.  


Life is by no means all laughter and joy.  It is hard and taxing and exhausting. On days like today where I am MS fatigued, where I feel like I have run multiple marathons and don’t have the patience to help with homework after soccer practice while I am trying to balance my bank accounts, she sees the cranky mom.  The mom that doesn’t have the patience because it's all on me,  It’s not fair.  She is collateral damage from my disease and her parents’ divorce.  


I try to check myself because I don’t have the backup anymore.  There is no one to say, go take a break. There is no one to say, I’ve got this. I will feed her and get her to practice. I will walk the dog and make sure she is fed.  I will let you rest.  It’s just me and the worry doesn’t stop.


Do the laundry, prepare the meals, wash the floors, no don’t wash them because it’s raining, cut the crazy high hedges, mow the lawn, power wash the house and the fence, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen, arrange for after school care so  I can work and oh, take care of yourself.  


All of this a lot for anyone but for a single parent with MS it is near impossible some days.  The thing is, I am grateful for Áine, all day every day.  She is such an easy kid.  She is thoughtful, kind, and compassionate. Loving, intelligent, independent, strong, and funny.    


If you have ever spoken to Áine, you know she loves to talk.  Áine likes to have deep conversations.  Serious conversations as she calls them.  She openly confides in me from things like school to friends to crushes to her dad.  Once, she told me that she knows she can tell me anything, and I believe her.   Even though life is challenging, I wouldn’t change our relationship for the world.  Occasionally, we still sing our sappy song I made up when she was a baby, “Mommy loves Áine, do do, Áine loves mommy, do do.  They do lots of things together, doesn’t matter what the weather.  Mommy loves Áine, do do, Áine loves mommy, do do.”

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