Mommy/Daughter Fights

“Mommy, you want to fight?”  It’s 8:05 in the morning, and my 9-year old, Áine, is asking me if I want to fight.  This is a continuation of our fight from last night, and we only have 5 minutes until we need to put our shoes on to hit the road for the school bus.  Despite being crunched for time, I say, “yes, let’s fight!”  

We take our respective places in the living room, Áine explains the rules in a deep, commanding voice, “any one of these three seats counts.  Whoever ends up in one of these three seats is the loser!”  Then, she starts the countdown in the same commanding voice, “3, 2, 1 . . . let it begin!”  

Before I go any further, I will explain about our fights.  They are not real fights with yelling and screaming.  They are not real fights with hitting and punching.  They are just your average mother/daughter takedown fights.  We wrestle each other until one of us ends up pushing the other down into one of 3 seats on the couch and loveseat.  She’s gotten really strong and tall so it’s not as easy as one might expect.  To clarify another point, I am only 5’3”.  I am not the tallest mommy, and Áine is not 4’8”.  

We’ve been fighting like this for a very long time.  They started out as tickle fights when she was around 3.  I’d get down on my knees in the respective arena, the living room or my bed, and we would tickle each other and laugh like crazy.  My name was the big dog and still is.  I don’t recall where that name came from, but it has stuck.  I don’t recall when we moved to me standing, either, but there is no way I’d stand a chance if I were kneeling now.

Back to the most recent fights.  We fought before bed last night.  I won all 5 times that she counted and one or two more times that she didn’t.  This morning, I knew I was weak.  My limbs felts like our inflatable Halloween witches arms begging for air.  Áine has a new technique to come after me at the waist.  She stealthy wrapped her arms around my waist, swiftly maneuvered me to the couch, and took me down!  

She wasn’t done, yet, but should have quit while she was ahead because this big dog doesn’t like to lose.  Ask Juan.  (That’s a story for another day!)  I lulled Áine into thinking she had it again.  Letting her gently guide me around the living room in a bit of a dance until I changed the cadence and gently but forcefully took her down!  

When she got her footing and stood up, I noticed a snarl in the back of her hair.  Off to the bathroom to brush!  Snarl tackled time for those shoes! We have to catch the bus!  

“Mommy, one more fight? Please?”  “Ok, one minute.  Alexa, set a timer for one minute.”  

Why would Áine want to fight again since she was going to lose?  Because, it is fun! It brings us so much joy in our hectic days.  It is a little bit of Mommy and Áine Funness times as she named it so many years ago.  

Áine and I have been through hell.  From the time she was an infant she had been fighting as have I.  (Won’t get into it all right now.)  Even through it all, we have always managed to experience joy in our lives.  

A friend text me the other day, “don’t feel like a failure! You’re doing it all on your own on top of battling MS.  You’re amazing.  You’re so strong and powerful, and Áine is amazing too. I am always in awe of her positive attitude and happiness when I see her.  You both inspire me to be better.”

It’s not easy.  It’s not easy for anyone these days, but if you can find a few minutes in your day to get some sun, breath in fresh air, laugh with a friend, or fight your kids, do it!!!! Bring the joy into your world!