KATKelly:Suddenly single - life with my daughter, my doodle, and MS

Suddenly single: life with my daughter, my doodle and MS.   Looking at those words is still painful.  Of course my daughter, Áine, is the best thing that ever happened to me and that word will never be painful. Her name appears in my gratitude journal every day.  I am so fortunate to have such an amazing kid who is kind, patient, compassionate, loving, gentle, witty, and joyful, oh so joyful, despite her hard life.   Now to my doodle, Lilly. I love her but I never wanted a dog.  I always said I would never have a dog. I told my ex that when we first met and yet, here I am with a dog.  I am responsible for keeping our dog alive, happy, and groomed.  Doodles require a lot of grooming.  She gets her hair done more than I do.  Walking Lilly, feeding Lilly, playing with Lilly, brushing Lilly, giving her medication, brushing her teeth, picking up her poop.  Oh, Lilly, I must love you!   MS, oh how I don't love you.  I ...

The eye of the storm is typically the calmest and safest part of the storm on land with no wind at the center and typically clear skies.  I have been living in the storm for a few years now.  One thing after another after another barreling at me like a wrecking ball upending my life over and over.  I am so tired of it.  I am tired of being strong and hearing, "if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger."  I am strong enough.  I think I have proven that. However, I don't like living this way. Always on alert. My fight or flight or freeze reptilian brain in control.  It's time for me to enter the center of the storm. Where it is calm, where the skies are clear, where I can let down my sword and be at peace. This doesn't mean the storm is over; it just means that I am safe and choosing to ride it out in the safest place for me.  I don't need to carry around the angst, anxiety, and fear.  I don't need to worry about the next worst thing....